The Joyful Sort Top 5: Lessons Learned From Being Married To A Professional Organizer

Hi there! I hope that everyone is hanging in there as we roll into yet another month of our strange new world. We’re all spending so much time at home with our families anymore (Day 74 over here, not that I’m counting) that I thought it would be fun to have a member of my own family, my dear husband Zach, take the reins on this post and give you all a glimpse into what it’s like living with a professional organizer.

A little backstory: Zach and I actually met in high school and were friends as well as lab partners in Biology class during his freshman/my sophomore year. Our paths continued to cross here and there throughout our college years, but it was during graduate school that we really reconnected and the rest, as they say, is history. He has been the biggest supporter of this business of mine, from the very first “What if…”, and I couldn’t do what I do without him. He also happens to be a fantastic father, talented attorney, and the most fun dance floor partner ever at weddings. Take it away, my love!

My wife is an incredible professional organizer and an incredible person, not only because she can bring her talent and passion to transforming her clients’ spaces, but also because she puts up with my obstinance and know-it-all approach on any given subject. That, combined with my indecisive nature and scattered multi-tasking, has made me a perfect guinea pig for her as she’s honed her natural organizing know-how over the years. Luckily, I’ve picked up a few lessons along the way.

1. Everything in its place.

So right off the bat I’ll tell you that our house is not a Pinterest-perfect, color-coded, alphabetized masterpiece, in case anyone thinks that’s what being married to a professional organizer entails. We have two young boys who feel that it is their obligation in life to ensure that a LEGO cluster is perfectly placed on the floor in every room and no less than seven pieces of drawing paper are laying around at a given time. I’m also somewhat scattered and tend to take most tasks to almost-but-not-quite-completion (my wife refers to this as “The 90% Principle”).

I’ve learned over time that a tidy and organized home doesn’t mean being afraid to move something or actually use your stuff, bur rather having the right systems and containment in place. Creating zones for your items makes it easy to know where things go and to put them there.  I may not always put the flour canister back into our baking shelf with the big vinyl label that says “FLOUR” facing OUT, but I know exactly where the flour is and where it should be returned to when I’m done with it and that can make all the difference in keeping a space from cluttering up. As (I think) they say, “Clear counters, full hearts, can’t lose”.

2. A few minutes to win it.

I’m a procrastinator to a fault, but Kelly has really helped me to see the benefit of sucking it up and taking a few minutes every day or every few days to just deal with my stuff instead of letting it build up to a more arduous task. These little “resets”, as she calls them, have made a big difference in my mental wellbeing. Those few minutes can save so much unconscious stress and disturbance in my enjoyment of a space.

Case in point: my clothes. I commute a long distance each day (or at least I did pre-Covid), so once I’m finally home for the day, tossing my work clothes on the floor of my closet is the path of least resistance. Unfortunately, that also meant lots of piles (professional organizers love piles, right?) and not being able to find a particular shirt or sweater, which would ultimately lead to me being annoyed and stressed as I dug through said piles for something to wear to work the next day during my precious and few evening hours at home with my family. Whether it was for my own well-being or because she was tired of having to always make sure my closet doors were closed to mask the mayhem (probably both), Kelly helped me level up, as she does in most things. She moved my messy sweater piles into some dope fabric bins categorized by work and home, swapped out my hangers to give me more space, and ROYGBIV’d and file folded my shirts to add order to my dresser drawers. Now, by taking only a few minutes every day or 10 minutes on a weekend, I’m motivated to keep those spaces clean and feel so satisfied that at least that portion of my daily life is orderly and no longer a barrier from me getting on to do the other things I want to do. You heard it here second (because I’m sure she’s said this too): maintaining a space on the reg is where it’s at.

3. It’s all about the memories, man!

Aside from being a subtle procrastinator, I am also naturally disposed to being a Saver of Things, and am INCREDIBLY indecisive. Random button or safety pin? Probably will need it at some point. Sweater from 2005 that still fits? Saving it for that *perfect* occasion. Cardboard coaster from that one bar in Paris? Pretentious and OBVIOUSLY I’M KEEPING THAT ONE. Suffice to say I don’t inherently do well with getting rid of stuff.

Turns out, though, that our house (and really any house) has a limited amount of space in which to keep things. My wife has been both ruthless and positively encouraging in helping me sort and edit my bins (plural) of memorabilia. It’s been tough, but has made me really consider why I’ve kept something. Is it simply a token of a memory, or is the item itself an integral part of that memory? Was it a defining moment of my life or just something I fondly look back on? Will I ever use it or intentionally bring it out to reflect, or am I afraid that by losing it I will lose the memory? I have learned to focus and be realistic with keeping only those items that truly have meaning rather than mere association. So far, turns out, either I couldn’t even tell you what I’ve gotten rid of or I haven’t missed it. As Garth Algar famously said, “Stop torturing yourself man...live in the now!”

4. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.

I love reading. I love owning books. Books are one thing to which I’m still very resistant to compromising or editing, but it is also the one area I’ve loved organizing in the past. Like every library and bookstore I’ve visited, I prefer to sort my books alphabetically by author. Seems obvious enough, right? Kelly, on the other hand, was dying to organize our books by color. I resisted. How would I know where to find a particular book that I was looking for? Or what books I had by any given author? We compromised in that we’d give it a try and if I truly had trouble finding what I needed, we’d rethink the setup.

Because my wife is great at proving me wrong, I walked into our den on the day that she ROYGBIV’d the bookshelf and was totally smitten. It became a beautiful showpiece of the room, along with a cozy corner chair and a print of our favorite quote from the Harry Potter series, a proper reading nook. I’ve never had a problem finding the book I wanted and, even better, I’ve started picking books based on color and my mood. It’s actually helped my indecisive brain pull out a book that fits for that given moment and I love it. One of the great things about professional organizers like Kelly is that they can help you look at your things and your space in a different way and show you something you never thought you were missing.  

5. Use what you love.

So now you know that books are one of my Things. Also on that list are video games, movies, great coffee mugs, and whiskey. I’ve learned that it’s okay to have collections of Things, so long as you’re actually using and enjoying them. Up until a few years ago, I had an entire IKEA bookshelf full of DVDs - films that I had collected over time and, if I’m being honest, didn’t really watch that much due to a combination of kids and an uptick in streaming service offerings. Neither of those factors seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, so it only made sense to whittle my collection down to the films that were my absolute favorites, versus some real duds with emotional affiliations and my pretentious collection of French new wave films that I loved in college but haven’t watched sense. Our entire DVD collection now fits in two fabric shoeboxes in our living room and I’m much more mindful about actually enjoying those favorites instead of being overloaded with a collection for collection’s sake. For the record, Point Break is and always will be my favorite movie.

I’ve learned in living with Kelly that a well-organized home is one where everything has a contained home and where the simplest approach is generally the best one. Small, semi-frequent tasks help keep these areas neat and tidy, and when you see how those transformed spaces also transform your stress levels and general mindset, the inspiration and passion to keep going is hard to ignore. Again, biased position here, but she is incredible at what she does and I attribute all the noticeable ease and enjoyment in living in and maintaining our home to her.